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How to Make Bart Simpson’s Squishee (Crushed Ice Drink)

Beth likes living life in the slow lane. She takes time to enjoy the little things in life.

A crushed ice slurpee is a refreshing drink on a hot summer's day.

A crushed ice slurpee is a refreshing drink on a hot summer's day.

3 Ways to Make a Squishee (aka Slurpee or Slushy)

  1. A squishee can be made using a squishy or slushy dispensing machine. Apu Nahasapeemapetilon has one of these in his store. The machine cools the syrup mix and achieves the required slushy consistency without the need to add extra ice to the mixture. This is due to the wonders of science (see below.)
  2. Using the same technique, you can also make a DIY version (see instructions, below).
  3. For a quick DIY method, use a branded slushy maker cup (see below).

Quick DIY Method Using a Slushy Maker Cup

If you're short of time, you can make a slushy or squishee at home by buying a branded slushy cup. This is my preferred method for making a crushed ice drink. It’s quicker and more reliable than the true DIY method described below. Keep the slushy cup in the freezer so that the liquid between the inner and outer sleeve is frozen ready for use. When you want to make your beverage, pour fruit juice or soda into the container. Massage it to transfer the coldness into the drink, and hey presto, you have a crushed ice drink in under a minute.

Easy Homemade DIY Squishee "Cube"

If you don’t want to buy a slushy maker, here's how to make your own DIY crushed ice drink.

What You'll Need

  • 1 small, strong freezer bag
  • 1 teaspoon salt
  • Tap water

Method

  1. Fill up the freezer bag with tap water. Add the salt to the water.
  2. The bag needs to be small enough so that when frozen it will fit inside a drinking cup (or a jug if you are intending to make a larger quantity of squishee).
  3. Tie the top of the bag and place it in the freezer.
  4. Once the water has frozen solid you are ready to make your slushy drink.
  5. Use either freshly squeezed fruit juice (orange or apple juice are ideal), or a store-bought slushy syrup. Fill a drinking cup or glass two thirds full with the juice or syrup.
  6. Take the frozen water bag out of the freezer and dunk it into the juice or syrup. Shake the iced “cube” in the juice or syrup to turn them into a crushed ice drink. It may take a couple of minutes, but it does work. Be careful that your dunking is not too enthusiastic as the freezer bag may not withstand vigorous shaking.

Bart Simpson and Apu's Kwik-E-Mart

As fans of The Simpsons TV show know, Apu has an iced drink machine. The Simpsons show is about a dysfunctional middle-class American family. They're an average family, so they have exactly 2.4 children. The family consists of parents Homer and Marge, 10-year old Bart, 8-year old Lisa, and baby Maggie.

Apu Nahasapeemapetilon is the owner of the local Kwik-E Mart, and he has a squishee maker at the front of his store. Bart (the eldest of the Simpson kids), and his pal, Millhouse, love to pester Apu. They enjoy the sugar high they get from a squishee (also known as a squishee or slushy), a type of crushed ice drink similar to an Italian granita ice but with more liquid. Bart’s dream super squishee is made only from syrup and no water. You can see the mind-bending results of drinking one of these in the video below. A normal squishee is diluted with lots of water. The drink is made using either real fruit juice or one of the commercially available syrups.

Bart and Millhouse Go Crazy With a Super Squishee

The Science Bit: How Do You Make a Squishee?

Making a squishee is a practical application of the physics and chemistry you learned at school, but thought you would never use. Water freezes at zero degrees Fahrenheit (32 degrees Celsius). However, if water contains impurities, the temperature at which the liquid freezes is lowered. The foreign particles disrupt the formation of ice crystals, and so it remains liquid for longer; i.e., the impure water will not freeze until its temperature is reduced further (below the normal freezing point for H20).

Inside each slushy-making cube (or between the inner and outer walls of a special slushy cup) is therefore not pure water, but water plus something else. For commercial reasons, manufacturers don’t make public what the extra ingredient is, but I would guess it’s something like salt. For safety reasons the added ingredient needs to be something edible in case the walls of the special cube should break and spill.

To make a squishee, the special cube or cup is placed in a freezer. When frozen solid, it is put into a shaker with some soft drink or syrup to be converted into a crushed ice drink. The temperature of the frozen cube or cup is now below the normal freezing point of water. Water is the main constituent of the soda or squash that is being turned into a squishy or slushy. As the shaker is agitated, the cold from the frozen cube is transferred into the soft drink. The cube’s liquid has impurities in it, and this keeps its temperature below that of the beverage liquid into which it has been placed. The liquid of the syrup drink or soda therefore freezes into a crushed ice beverage.

How Do Branded Slushy Makers Work?

Commercial squishy or slushy makers boast they can make any drink into crushed ice without adding ice to the drink. They also do not need to put the drink into a freezer and then crush the resultant ice block in a food blender. Instead, they use a branded frozen cube which when added to the drink causes it to ice up without dilution or the use of a freezer on the drink itself. The manufacturers have used science and turned it into a nice little earner for themselves.

The Simpson family on their couch: Homer, Marge, Lisa, baby Maggie, and Bart.

The Simpson family on their couch: Homer, Marge, Lisa, baby Maggie, and Bart.

Apu once had the Squishee machine at the Kwik-E-Mart replaced with one for a similar drink called the Smooshie, which came in flavors such as "shopping bag" and "dog fur." Apu made the change after he had a fling with the Squishee syrup deliverywoman, and chose the Smooshie because its deliveryman was an ugly hobo and therefore wouldn't tempt Apu into being unfaithful to Manjula again. The Smooshie did not go over well with Apu's customers, however, and the Squishee quickly returned.

— Simpsons Fandom website

Kwik-E Mart's Squishee Syrup Flavors

Some of the flavors of Apu's Kwik-E Mart's Squishee syrup are listed below. It is said that some of them can cause hallucinations. You have been warned! The many syrups beloved by Bart and his friends include the following.

  • Blue
  • Red
  • Lime Green
  • Champagne
  • 21-Syrup Salute
  • Chinese New Year
  • Squish of Death, black in color, and causes spontaneous vomiting. It is so dangerous that it is only sold by Kwik-E-Mart's in Springfield's bad-lands.
  • Blue cleaning agent
  • Shrek Berry Blast
  • Not Very Berry Blast

This content is accurate and true to the best of the author’s knowledge and is not meant to substitute for formal and individualized advice from a qualified professional.

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